When Pigs Fly

We're two weeks away from 2011. The beginning of another New Year. I never liked to make resolutions. I think that if you are going to start something, you should just do it. It's always so easy to say I'll start on Monday, but Monday never really comes does it? So I was thinking about some changes that I wanted to make. The catch phrase is to make "life style" changes. There are even life style coaches that you can pay to help you make these life style changes. I've decided that I don't need a coach to tell me the obvious things that I need to change.  My household clutter could use some help. Most of the time if I watch one of those hoarder shows, it does the trick. I say yes too often and this messes up my time management. This can be corrected by the just say no campaign.  My diet and exercise plan are practically non existent.  This I have started to change. I signed up for the Flying Pig 5K. Yes indeed, I will be running, walking or crawling across the finish line in April. I thought this might be fun, so I also signed up Lee and Jake. Lee was not amused, but Jake was excited. We are going to enjoy the great outdoors, breathing in the fresh air and doing something good for us as a family. The sign up was painless. I just went online and because I signed up before Jan. 1, 2011, my cost was only $25. For that we get a t-shirt and just for finishing a medal. Kind of like a participation ribbon. There are three different categories that you can sign up for, age group, walking or wheel chair. I thought carefully about each group. I knew there was no way I was going to be able to come up with a wheel chair by April. Well, not and convince anyone that I really needed it, tempting as it was. That left age group and walking. What really is the difference? I chose age group. I figure they might not expect that much if I'm dumped in with the over 50 crowd. After I signed up I thought about what I have done. I mean, have you seen some of the old people out there? They are buff! That means I will have to work at getting in a shape other than round to be in this event. So, I have four and a half months to be in good enough shape as to not embarrass myself. Did you ever notice it's more fun to do things in a group? I have a suggestion for you. Why don't you join me at the Flying Pig 5K? It would be fun, because in Cincinnati, pigs really do fly. Take care!

Green Christmas

Hey there! I haven't seen you for awhile. Why? Because it has been such a busy, busy time. I know that is no excuse for letting my blog sit unattended for a week, but life got in the way of writing. I'm back now with an observation. Last week we put up the tree, sort of. It stands strong, tall and naked in the corner of our great room. Well, it does have lights on it, but that's because they were on there when I bought the tree. I usually have the decorations on as soon as it's put up. Not this year. This year may be a green tree Christmas, kind of organic isn't it? There is the fact that the tree is plastic and doesn't smell like anything. That's not very organic. I guess I could spray it with fake pine smell. Since it is plastic there won't be any needles falling on the floor, that would require a quick assault on the shrubs in the front of the house. However, they are covered in lights, I did get those out at Thanksgiving, and about 4 inches of snow. That isn't very convenient now is it. So I need to decide if I want to have a fake tree standing in the corner without decorations or get the boxes out of the basement and decorate. The problem with a fake tree is the fact it looks fake. The only reason it can pass at Christmas is the decorating part. Hang so many ornaments on it that you can't see that the trunk is full of holes where the wire rods fit into it. There is one other option. Put the gifts under the table holding the menorah. It could look kind of neat. All the wrapped gifts sitting under a set of lights. Although it would be hard to bask in the glow when the lights are on a table lower than the couch. No, I need to get it in gear and decorate for this wonderful season. When I think of Christmas past what really comes to mind is the lights, which I already have on the tree. There was this set of twinkle lights that was on our tree. They twinkled randomly. You can't really find them anymore. The ones that twinkle are symmetric. Every third light will glow, on and off in a rhythm.  We bought a set that had a wheel that you used to set the timing of the lights. It was awful. They didn't twinkle, they flashed on and off like a sale sign. Or they would do the running light like at a casino. There was nothing calming about it. It was a strobe effect. The lights on my tree are plain, white lights. There is no twinkle. I do have ornaments that glow when you put them close to a light. There are glitter ornaments that Jake made when he was younger, those sort of twinkle. The only way to make my tree twinkle will be to decorate it. I better get going. I hope that your tree is glowing just the way you want it to. Take care!

Giving and Getting!

My Mom is famous for buying Christmas presents all through the year. She then "hides" them in the house so nobody can find them, even her. There have been many times that I got a gift on my July birthday that Mom had bought for December. Not that getting a snowman sweatshirt is a bad gift, it's just the timing is sometimes off. She also tends to tell you indirectly what she has bought. An example would be the comment I made about a new soap dispenser that she had in her bathroom. She told me not to go out and buy one, it "might be in my stocking". I just said it was cute. She gets it honestly. My Grandma Dorothy was know for her gift opinions. Not that she wasn't thankful for the gifts she got, she just wasn't good about hiding the fact she might not care for it. I got her a blouse one year that had 3/4  length sleeves. She opened it, held it up and went into a commentary about not putting this on to go to the "outhouse", then looked over at me, smiled and said Thank You! She also was a snoop. She would go through the closets looking to see what was bought. Then she would tell you what she found. Mom and Dad had bought my Grandpa Henry a coat for Christmas one year. Grandma found it and told me that Mom bought her the wrong size. When she opened her gift, she announced "Where's the coat!" Gift giving is hard. The older you get, the less you need. You also get more opinionated as time goes by. There are people who say, anything you want to get me is fine. Well, it really isn't. You think you know the person well enough to get that one of a kind, flying monkey with ruby eyes. But in reality, they hate monkeys. Then there are those who give you "the list". These contain, the item, the item number, and the web site to buy the item complete with pictures. And how about when YOU get the flying monkey with ruby eyes. You open the gift and stare while it stares back at you. You hear how excited the gift giver is when they explain that there are only a limited number of these made. Yeah, no kidding, it's hideous.  You then smile and nod, not knowing how to express your feelings. This is a good time to pass the cookie tray! I hope you get just what you want for the holidays. I'm buying lots of gift cards! Take care!

White Death!

It's early December and the weather in the Ohio Valley is crazy as usual. We have already had a few inches of snow, but this weekend we may, or may not, have a larger snow storm. This all depends on which weather model you want to go with. Where the rain/sleet/snow line is. If you are on the East or West side of the city and if the stars and moon are in alignment. I actually feel sorry for weather people. They get grief no matter what they say, yet we always listen intently to the weather. Here in Cincinnati we freak out at the first sign of the "white death". Here is my prediction of this weekends storm. By Saturday morning, the grocery stores will be so jammed packed that you will have to park a mile away. By mid-afternoon there will be no milk, bread, chips or beer left to buy. Every cart will contain one or more of the following: sled, shovel, salt. During the carpool this morning the kids were already talking snow day. Let's say that we do indeed get snow on Saturday. The idea is that people will stay off the roads and let the snow removal begin, after all, that morning we bought enough staples for a month! But that is not what will happen. When the first flake falls, the roads will be jammed with cars. These cars will not be going to the grocery stores, they are already out of food. They will be going to the mall, the movies or to dinner. The thought process is this, it's snowing, nobody will be crazy enough to drive in this weather. We'll finish our holiday shopping, go to that restaurant we've wanted to try, and catch the latest movie. There will be more people out driving than if the weather were perfect. I hope we do get snow. I love looking out and seeing everything covered in a blanket of white. The neighborhood will be filled with snowmen and forts. Kids will have rosy cheeks from sledding. And I will have a quiet house, because the rest of the family will be out shopping and getting take out! Take care!

Deck the halls and everything else!

Tis the season for decorating.  Retailers start decorating for Christmas earlier and earlier. I noticed the card shops putting out ornaments and cards in July. There is even the Christmas in July sale! As soon as the Halloween candy went on sale, Christmas candy was put out. Looking for Thanksgiving decorations? Forget it! Those decorations were on the bottom shelf or made by your local Kindergartener. Every year decorating is taken to new heights. The weekend after Thanksgiving marks D-Day. That is decorating day. After all that shopping on Friday, Saturday and Sunday are spent decking the halls, the tree, the outside of the house, the yard, the car and don't forget the dog. It's hard to hang a pair of antlers on a cat. They have more dignity than that. But a dog can really be dressed up. You can put on antlers, a matching sweater, little doggie booties, matching collar and leash. They can be dressed up to match your kids! This makes a great family Christmas picture. People expect dogs to be treated like people, so we might as well dress them like one. I'm seeing more yard blow ups this year. 8 foot tall Santas standing in the yard at night. During the day it's nothing but a pile of plastic on the front yard. In the spring you can have an outline of Santa laying in the yard where the grass has died. HO HO HO! There is always one house who pays professionals to put up their decorations. They have the entire house outlined in lights. Not to mention the shrubs, porch and trees. This makes the other neighbors jealous. So they put up lighted plastic characters to make a scene in the yard, with elves working in the workshop, waving snowmen and Santas, lighted deer that move back and forth, then it is all set to music! What we have here is a display that gets attention. You have increased traffic to look at your display. You may even be on the news! If your display is large and loud enough, you get to meet your local police person. Maybe even the local utility company when you black out the neighborhood. That should get you on the news! All your neighbors will know who you are! That's attention! What is the most complained about thing in decorating? Lights! Everyone complains about putting up the lights. Funny huh? Take Care!

Chocolate Holidays

What are chocolate holidays? Chocolate holidays fall between October and April. It all starts with Halloween. How can you resist chocolate then. All those fun size bars. There are even kids running around dressed as giant chocolate bars.  You can't possibly be expected to hand out popcorn balls. Who does that? So you sit on your porch with a bowl full of chocolate. Then comes Thanksgiving and chocolate cream pie. You have to have a chocolate cream pie for all those people who don't like pumpkin. It would be rude to your guests. Every year there is a high school football team selling chocolate bars to raise money for better helmets. With the new helmets they won't scramble their brains when they take a hit. Sure, I could say no, but these kids are going to run this country when I'm old and I want their brains in tact. Up next, Hanukkah gelt, the chocolate coins wrapped in foil. The only way to play a family game of dreidel.  You surely want to support family game night. My stocking always contains chocolate at Christmas. There are chocolate santas, chocolate balls and bells. Not to mention the fudge on the cookie tray. You ring in the New Year with chocolate martinis and chocolate dipped strawberries. January usually brings snow. That means sledding, building snowmen, ice skating and a large mug of hot chocolate. That's the only reason to strap on shoes with thin metal blades on the bottom and try to walk across a frozen sheet of ice.  Then there is that giant heart shaped box filled with chocolate that you hope comes your way on Valentines Day. Chocolate is a mood elevator. If that box doesn't come your way, they are on sale at 50%  off the next day and you can get that giant box and eat it all by yourself. March brings out the leprechauns. The gold in that pot, it's chocolate! Hopping down the bunny trail is a giant chocolate bunny. How long before his ears are missing? Not to mention all that chocolate laying around in the basket. For seven months we have reasons to eat chocolate. Not that you need a reason, but it helps explain why you have all that chocolate in the pantry. You're celebrating! In the off season we use chocolate to teach pre schoolers colors and math. There is even a book out there called M&M math. You separate the M&Ms by color. Then you teach kids addition and subtraction by moving them around and then eating them. Chocolate is an educational tool. How can you not want to educate the future of America? Chocolate makes you feel happy and some studies show that dark chocolate is good for your heart. Chocolate may save your life! Think about it! Take care.

Hanukkah vs Christmas

December is a busy month for us. We have Hanukkah, Christmas, and throw in three birthdays and it's an expensive month. We, of course, bring this on ourselves. The real meaning of  Hanukkah and Christmas has nothing  to do with gift giving. Over the years Christians brought in Santa and Reindeer, while the Jewish people decided to compete with Christmas and add gifts to the festival of lights. This is very clear in our house. We didn't want Christmas to out shine Hanukkah, so we started the gift giving. We try to keep some religion in it, Lee and Jake say the prayer before screwing in the light bulb on the menorah. We don't use real candles, it's a fire hazard. Which is why whenever Hanukkah falls over the annual office Christmas party at our house, someone will end up screwing all the bulbs in. I guess they thought we forgot to do it. On Christmas Eve, my brothers family comes and we exchange gifts. We do say a prayer before the mayhem begins. I guess that we failed to put much holy in the holidays. We do however bring out that feeling of giving. Jake does a charity drive in December for Duffels for Darlings. We donate food for the food pantry. We buy socks for the homeless and put mittens on the mitten tree. We do over do it. Both holidays are based on faith. Faith that the oil would last and faith that a child would be born. We have the freedom to choose what we wish to believe. There is no right or wrong. If we choose to mix it up a bit, and still get the same result, so be it. What is that result? To believe that if you have faith, and give of yourself, the world will be a better place. So as the holiday season begins, we wish you a Merry Hanukkah, Happy Christmas and a Joyous New Year. Take care!